Magic Monday

Good Morning Everyone! The sun is shinning again. Nice and bright and getting warm too! Everything is still really wet outside and I see we might get more storms today. I am hoping not but we shall see! Every time I think about yesterday all I do is laugh because the water on the ground was like a small river coming in. It rained to hard and such volume my feet where soaked! The rain came so fast the ground couldn’t keep up with soaking it in and it was still damp because it’s been raining so much lately.  I had a over-sized rain jacket with me out there thank goodness! That did help a bit! I have wanting and wishing for a little but cooler weather so I can be out in my cabin. With the honeys hurt hand he cannot put the AC in out there. Oh, he says he can but I told him not to worry about it now because it will be cool soon! I do not want him out there climbing a ladder and cutting the wall out and putting this thing in with a cast on…. lol, He is one determined man though and determined about everything! I am just as determined but not with his energy or strength, but I am working on it all! One day at a time, one minute at a time and so on! Not sure whats on the horizon but whatever it is we will be okay! I have to keep believing that because living in constant fear is debilitating to say the very least! I have a double whammy- memory and physical impairments it is the biggest struggle I have ever faced. I feel like a mush brain at times. I do pretty good with problem solving unless my emotions get in the way then I am done. When my emotions take over I loose all ability to deal with the matter at hand. Not always but I have made some decisions that weren’t the greatest and I miss some people in my life. Some who I considered friends and well I have to deal with it all! It’s not like any of them are reaching out so I see exactly what I meant to them and that is absolutely nothing! I was told that when times are tough you see who your friends are and that rings true for sure! I am learning to move on past the hurt and there is nothing I can do about that, sorry I think I repeated myself! I think I am trying to convince myself or something! One thing that is true facts is I am a sensitive soul for sure and with that especially vulnerable.  Everything is compounded, brain injury, disabled in more ways then you’d think, coronavirus in the USA, Honey disabled now, and shitty so called friends!!! Not friends, pretend friends! If I had help and support I could be at ease and less stressed. No one seems to give a shit about anyone but themselves and I see where you have to be to a point. But when I was good, I helped everyone and anyone!!! Wheres my help??? I have one great friend but I cannot expect her to help me all the time. My family hasn’t even offered any help, except my only sister! She would be here 247 if she could! I This is my struggle… Everyday is a struggle! I’m sure you have struggles too! Everyone does from time to time and some everyday to you I say, “you are not alone!” I feel you! And I love you keep fighting that fight and stay safe and love yourself unconditional! Be Well everyone!   One good thing that happened today? I realized that I am important and even if no one thinks so, I love myself and if you don’t love me, well that is okay!