Blessed Sunday everyone!
I woke up in a okay state of mind today. I was just really tired again, as I didn’t sleep all that well. Was up at 3 am and stayed up for a couple of hours then back to sleep for a couple of hours. Pretty restless, how about you? I bet some are restless for sure. A lot going on in the world, right? That is how I feel. Along with my sisters passing. I have been a wreck! A huge bundle of nerves and break downs! I told myself this morning not to go there today and stay stress free. I have been doing pretty good with that today- When I feel that tightening in my chest and change in breath I try to remind myself to breath and relax and let that stuff go. I then think about the good memories of my sister and I also tell myself that we are safe and healthy and we will be okay!!! With that I had a healthy lunch with fresh squeezed Jc of carrot, apple,and celery. it was so Delicious and satisfying. I then went outside and sat in the sun for hours with fresh air!!! It felt so good! I was so peaceful out there listening to the birds sing and the warm sun on my face with the wind blowing in my hair. I felt so at peace, it really was so amazing and meditative! I was in Zen. I had my jacket and a blanket too! Once I felt really cold I came in. It’s 5:30 PM and the sun is still shining! 🙂 I love the sun and have no idea how people in Alaska can survive without it for half the year? How? I think I read somewhere that the suicide rate was high there. 🙁 I heard a helicopter go over head when I was out there- That noise always makes me nervous. We have a heli pad not far from us for Paramedics and I think that is why I get a little anxious. Ugh, a lot of that feeling the last couple of months, right? I am probably not the only one. We didn’t go to church this morning. We are staying out of crowds and stores and such. Using precautions as we are aware. No Church, No Pt, No Speech therapy-(cognitive therapy) It’s in the hospital and I am not going in there either. My sisters funeral service was cancelled today. We will have one in a couple of months to honor her in a beautiful park outdoors on the water! It will be so beautiful and I think she would’ve loved it there. I still can’t believe she is gone, it’s still so surreal to me. Well being that we didn’t go to church today I think my husband and I will read the bible tonight and talk about what would Jesus do in the world! I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I am sure some of you are too. So many things to think about and for me that’s not any easy task always. But I manage the best I can. Like everyone else who struggles.
My best friend Lil called me today. She lives in NC and we don’t see each other very often. We had a wonderful time talking and catching up on life. She will be coming up this summer to visit and I cannot wait to see her. I miss her dearly everyday! She said she wished she was here to help me and I know if she was she would be my right hand for sure! She is such a loving, giving and kindest person I have ever met in my life besides my mother!!! It’s funny how thinking about my mother I can just cry at a drop of a hat! I miss her so much and If you read my blogs you might have came across a story on how I saw her, and felt her presence with me when I was 1st injured. I felt so safe and she comforted me in my time of desperate need! I literally forgot she was gone that when I became a little more coherent I asked where she was! That was really terrifying all over again to remember she had been gone for a very long time! Back to reality and real time. I felt like I was in another dimension or something. I do 100 % believe she was with me! No one could tell me any different! Thank god she was there for me and god knows how I would’ve been if not, right? Think about that for a moment. Makes me wonder anytime I think of that time! It was wonderful seeing her, feeling her- She would talk to me and touch my face and hair! She was and is my angel, always and forever!
Today all I wanted to do is sleep. I didn’t but I think tonight will be early! What about you? Some are working and some are not this week. With this Coronavirus thing, most are in a panic- I am too. I m trying not to stay in that panic mode and try to think with logic and clear hardheadedness! You have to go on day to day- taking good care of yourself and your love ones. When you panic or is in a constant stress your immune lowers- think about that for a minute! It’s not good to keep going down that rabbit hole, right? Listen be calm, be diligent on protecting yourself and others! Pray and love one another! Lets be the change we want to see out there with our actions!!! I for one is trying very hard! Remember friends, I love you! One good thing that happened to me today? I awoke calm and steady! 🙂
