Hello out there! I had a pretty good day and on and off thought about difficult things. I was trying to remember what happened two years ago. My brain injury. It is pretty sketchy. I remember bits and pieces. I remembered being in two hospitals. The one was pretty dirty and just not comfortable feeling. I was scared to be there. Not understanding really what was happening from time to time. The more local hospital was comfortable, kind, clean and I felt at ease there. Then I was shipped to a nursing home for rehab. My husband went to 3 different ones to find the best one he thought suited me. He picked the clean looking one and talked to some staff and thought this was the best one out of the other 2 or 3. It was beautiful I agree and very clean! Some of the staff was downright awful!!! But the rehab department was SPECTACULAR!!!! I loved them there but the rest of the place was pretty awful. People were rude, mean, demeaning on a daily basis. I would sit after rehab back in my room and cry all day except when my husband would come and he was there every day for so many hours if he wasn’t working! Thank god for that. One day he brought my puppy to see me and he let all the patients that seemed interested see, hold and pet him. The puppy Max was so cute, watching him interact with these old sweet humans. It brought me so much joy! I went through a lot back then and was the hardest thing I had ever dealt with in my life. I had a back injury and couldn’t walk and was in deep awful pain, but I was young and I had my mind and people who were there showed me so much love and caring. This was different at those hospitals and nursing home. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone EVER! No one gets it really unless you lived something like that. Tough what happened and a freak thing really, not to many cases like mine, it was just unreal! Even some family members don’t get it… that I have a actual brain injury! I stopped trying to explain it to people who don’t get it… I don’t care anymore who gets it or don’t. I just be the best me I can be! You know when you are explaining something to someone who just isn’t listening you can tell! That I am tired of! Really it seems as they could care less and well it is what it is and I will get over it… Lol… MY attitude has changed, not going to say it’s not painful but……. I feel a bit angry! It’s like feeling left behind, forgotten about. I guess I am not fun anymore… Lol, Fuck them all really. It goes to show you how important you are to some! I get it, and it has been noted! What can you do but worry and take care of yourself despite who cares or not! Right? I mean people suck sometimes but then there are others who make up for it! lol I think I am in this house to much and I need to get out soon for my own sense of different scenery… Yes yes yes… I love my dwelling but Ya know… Ughhhh…. Well I am going to loose myself in a movie or something and stop all this bitching! Sorry, for all the negative nelly tonight… Take care all… ONe good thing that happened today? I did have a good day despite my emotions tonight! Purging the shit out! Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
