Thriving Thursday

Thursday all day, as my mom would say. Isn’t it funny how you remember things your mom would say. She had a lot of little sayings. So long ago, but what an big impact she had on me! Everyone said I was her favorite! I was the baby and I think she was a lot older obviously when she had me. So maybe that explained it a little, She slowed down a bit- and all the experience with the last 3. Lol, I was not the experiment child, right? I mean I don’t know for sure but I did know she loved me very much! She always did so much to help me and One thing is for sure is how she took care of the people whom she loved! She visited me when I was very sick, I was in the hospital and I was really out of it off and on. I saw her she was very close to me I could reach out and touch her, she comforted me and I was scared and confused and not knowing what was going on really. She was there and I could see her as clear as day. Without speaking a word she told me that I was going to be okay, everything is okay & not to worry she is right here! When I woke up or came too more I noticed I was alone in my room and I asked a nurse as she came into my room, where was my mom because I had noticed I was alone. I thought for a quick second she had gone to get a bite to eat or bathroom break. I remember the feeling so ALONE in that room. Very uneasy, not knowing what was going on and then saying okay I remember I am in the hospital. I had been there a couple of days at that point. What a horrible feeling, being alone and not really understanding fully. My brain was starting to get the right nutrients it desperately needed B1 to the rescue- thank god, so I was coming out of the coma state more and more as the hours crept along. When I was rushed to the ER via ambulance days before that I was out of it, not really able to communicate but to left a finger as to say I hear you but couldn’t answer, that was the only way to communicate with a flick or raise a finger. Not sure, but couldn’t really move- like no energy or no strength, not sure. I understood what they were saying sort of, but couldn’t really register- Like I hear you but have no thoughts, that’s the only way to explain it. Like watching but not reacting to anything. Even needles and IVs had no feelings, I am sure I felt pain but couldn’t react but only to cry, no words. I had no words, used no words. If someone asked me a question I could nod my head sometimes or think very hard to try to answer them. It was extremely difficult to answer them or communicate in any way. Within days of major bags of vitamin B1, I started to wake up my brain and was able to communicate a little not a lot but then the awful day I was moved from the hospital to a nursing home- ” Livingston Hills Rehabilitation and nursing home” OMG, the first day I was transported there was absolutely the worst day of my life I felt! My husband followed me via ambulance, because I still couldn’t ambulate all that well and it was so hard as I was weak and feeble. I remember thinking there he is my honey, I felt safe if he was there. Because still having a difficult time communicating. I just yearned to talk but the place was horrible from day one. The nurse who came into to see me the 1st day I was placed there. They had picked me up and Moved me to the bed – from the stretcher to the bed- like slid me with sheets to the bed with 4 people. I couldn’t sit up on my own either at that point from what I sort of remember. The nurse was over the top of me asking me questions but I was trying to think of what she was saying trying to form an answer and I was squinting my eyes trying to think- it was so hard… Like all that energy to think of what she said and then try to answer.. OMG so freaking hard! She (the nurse) Then started to say nasty shit to me like If your not going to answer me then fine, stop squinting your eyes and answer me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG my husband was there and He was saying to her “wow, wait a minute- YOU are not going to speak to my wife that way and get OUT of this room!!!!!!” He was saying to her, ” what the hell is wrong with you talking to her like that, she has a brain injury!!! She is trying to answer you!!” This stupid horrible person started to tell him to leave the room and she was going to have him removed from here immediately and I started to freak out and was saying I am leaving with him- I can talk now, I was so upset crying and grabbing my husbands hand and holding him tight, and he was trying to get me to calm down and telling me don’t worry He wasn’t leaving me here and it was okay.. It was like a fucking bad dream a nightmare! My 1st hour there and I was in extreme overload and scared to death! That rotten bitch, horrible nurse, we called the state on her 3 times. The head nurse/supervisor came in to see what happened and he explained and I explained among crying trying to get words out! She was told not to come into my room for any reason and that the other nurses or supervisor would have to give me meds and help me with whatever but she was to stay far from me! I was in a private room overlooking the side front of the place with a big grassy yard- I remember this because as a teenager I had worked there when it was called the Adventist home! I worked in the kitchen back then I was 16 years old! So it was somewhat familiar. Thank god for that at least! I didn’t leave there and that nurse every now and then peaked her head in to say ” Can I come in to talk to you!?” Every time I said “NO” She told a lot of staff that I was horrible etc… I know because I was being treated horrible by aids there, and I called the supervisor and asked her why was everyone treating me so horrible- I cried everyday! I then found out because one of the aids who had to help my into the ladies room said Ahh, your not so bad!! I was like, what? Why would you say that? I had asked him if he was okay because he looked troubled, upset and just like nervous! I touched his hand and he said to me, wow, you are very sweet and thank you for asking! He then told me that the nurse who isn’t allowed in told him and others how horrible of a person I was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?????? This devil had set out to make my life miserable there and I was there to rehabilitate! WTF….. It was so hard for me physically and mentally to be there and different- a whole new way of being, trying to get strong, walk, talk, think… and this devil who is the most rotten person I have ever dealt with in my whole life was making everything so hard, rough on me- dealing with trying to heal and get strong and then being treated like a piece of shit was detrimental on my well being! The only thing that was so over the top great was the REHAB center there! Everyone in there all the therapist were SO amazing! Kind and loving and understanding!!!! It was 100 % what I needed. All of the shit dealt to me from the Devil Nurse was okay because I needed that rehab and I was not leaving and giving that up! So I sucked it up stayed and gave her the finger. Fuck you devil nurse cause you aren’t winning! That was my motto then and NOW! That employee told all the other aides I was wonderful and not listen to that nurse- they all started to treat me with respect and kind and helpful sentiments! It all turned around and that nurse tried to talk to my husband too, who was like uhmm NO! You have nothing I am interested in hearing about period, get away from the door to this room! I was very happy about that! I wouldn’t trust her giving me meds are you kidding! Psycho Nurse who should NOT BE A NURSE! How the hell this place keeps her hired there??? Says something about that place. The only good thing was the rehab was excellent! I cannot say enough about it! I met a old woman there, Martha Perry, I fell in love with her. I promised to stay in touch but didn’t. I forgot but Now I can’t even go visit her because of COVID! I will call out there and check on her, maybe send her a card. I hope she is still alive. She had kids but they were far away and didn’t visit. So many old people in places like that, that have no family or friends and boy you never realize how bad that is until you are in that situation! How these places are your whole world because you live there, it’s your home and family in a sense! I have to do something to get my voice out there about how we need to make it better and keep a close eye on how people are treated… Oh this just gave me a great idea how I can help, someway I will figure it out. With COVID it will be a little difficult but man Everyone has to do your part even the littlest thing from 20 people is better the 5 … Right? I can’t imagine how they can’t see there family members now or friends, no one is allowed in or out! And rightfully so to stay safe but it is so said and heart wrenching!!!! I wonder how many people there got COVID and died? My husbands mother was placed in a home and caught COVID in there and died! Yeah, horrible to say the least! 🙁  When you think about all of that it just breaks my heart! 🙁  Most people don’t think about the elderly in these sort of places and we all should! Well with that said I am off here to think of ways I can help! Wish me luck! Love to you all! One good thing that happened today? Had a peaceful day, and stayed happy! Be well out there and stay safe!