Today I spent hours with a great friend! Nothing like lifting your spirits when you have nice conversations that you both can relate too, right? My friend bought me a deck of tarot cards and not your traditional kind but they are easy to understand and to the point! I loved them and was so grateful for the gift! I played with them this evening and got the same type of message as when she did hers with me earlier. I feel like what a push in the right direction for me! Pretty exciting to think about! I feel like my life is so complicated at times. I become overwhelmed a lot. I have to figure out how to let those things rest and move onto something uplifting for those moments or go take a rest. Rest is something I never do until bedtime and I have just came to the conclusion that no matter what I am doing it can wait except about dogs or cats and the big guy- everything else can wait!!! Stressing over crap is just that “crap”, and I need to learn to let that crap go! People don’t get it that this brain injury has affected me in ways they do not understand. My mind will like play this loop thing… for instance, not letting crap go… Or becoming so upset that my emotions take right over and I say things that I feel in that moment as hard as it is to get it out and hurtful or nasty it sounds the worse I feel about it but there is like no holding back. I am always worrying about hurting someones feelings but sometimes If I see ignorance in a situation I just get crazed like in getting my point out there, because with ignorance that other person is like clueless to what is really going on! I become unglued so to speak! One way to express it, “unglued” Hey everyone has their breaking point! Unfortunately sometimes it happens right at the same time, yikes! I feel like things at times that old saying “things happen for a reason” Like moving on from people and things. There are good and bad in every relationship… and when the bad has become way better then the good, as hard as it is, you need to let go… Especially when that person cannot see your view,, ughh good bye! You feel hurt, taken advantage of in ways and devastated because of the actions of others that affect your life in major ways. If someone really cared about you they would look at the whole picture instead of being selfish! When you trust someone fully and then you start to see things and their actions, the way they talk etc, especially when they seem to think that you have no understanding or treats you in a demeaning way at times it shows the real them!!! I have a brain injury but I am NOT stupid and I have the capacity to see the real you! Who is stupid here? Them not me, because you thought I couldn’t see thru you and your words! Like yeah, go a head a talk to me like I am simple minded in a store surrounded by tons of people and laugh at that???? What is funny about that? Does it make you feel good or smarter then me? Like That is hurtful and demeaning by any way you look at it! That is rotten to treat someone that way! The way people abuse someone disabled because they seem like an easy target, right? Wrong, you piece of crap! It’s disgusting to the level of wanting to punch someone in there ugly minded mug! It makes me so angry to think about! So many monsters out here and boy you have to be careful! I trust no one and that what I have been through just reminded me of that! It’s an awful way to live but it is reality you must face. Unfortunately reality is ugly at times! Like if they were really your friend they would’ve called by now to see how life was treating you but no word! It shows again who they are and you meant nothing to them! Sad, but at least my eyes are wide open. I have cut some people out of my life recently and it is no easy task! It’s funny because my husband seen right thru a few and has voiced his opinion a while back- like years ago and that never swayed me, until boom smack in the face eye opening shit! And there you have it, YOU see it plain as day and you are amazed why it took so long to see the real them!!! Why was I blinded, why did I not see it? I will tell you why, it was so hurtful to admit to myself these people who you knew almost your whole life thought they cared and really loved you!!!! Who wants to see that? That you were wrong all this time about them! Some you see earlier on and you cut them out but others are more sly… Smart as a fox! Yup, worst kind of people! Good bye forever! I don’t need people like that, I care and love 100 % So no way, jose! Ba bye! I see my one “friend” all over another friends facebook and making conversation on how she’s coming up and her best friend lives in the same area and she would love to come over and visit when she’s up here etc. Mind you she is the same friend who has told me not to trust the other person and she is a bad person etc… Now she is all over her facebook, when Not a peep from her on my facebook,Cell, texts nothing and she called once when I came down with my brain injury, once!!! There ya go.. Open eyes now! She could care less how I am! I have known her my whole life! That’s what you get! Trust no one! Well on this disgusting note I must get off here and get back to bed! Be safe everyone. One good thing that happened today? A wonderful visit with a true friend! A great day! One good thing that happened today? I woke up!
